Matt's Awesome Stuff

Matt's Awesome Stuff

Post-Apocalypse Carbine Gun Prop

Last updated: 16Apr2012

In the fall of 2009 I hosted a Post-Apocalpse Night. I had some spare machine-like parts, and threw them together to make this carbine (short rifle).

Why would I host a Post-Apocalypse Night? Here's why:

"Some of you may know, they're fired up the Large Hadron Collider last week, which is creating miniature black holes on a daily basis and dropping them into the Earth. 'Science' says these black holes will disperse, and that loss of containment is 'Extraordinarily Unlikely.' However, yesterday, hackers hacked one of the main computers at the accelerator. Needless to say, if a bunch of 13 year-olds can hack some very delicate black-hole-making device, I think the majority of the world will be dead before October.

In the coming apocalypse, governments will fall, economies will shatter, and anarchy and chaos will rule the day. Luckily we have been prepared for this eventuality via years of relevant cinema. Mad Max, Waterworld, Escape From New York, Phantasm, Postman, Matrix, Neuromancer, Fallout, etc.

I have done extensive research this last week, and best I can understand, my notes tell me that Post-Apoc is comprised of the following essential elements:

  1. Scraps of leather
  2. Scraps of chainmaille
  3. At least one broken piece of sports equipment improvising as body armor.
  4. One hybrid firearm
  5. One hybrid melee weapon
  6. Something salvaged from a fishing boat
  7. Unpaired items that belong in pairs (glove, shoe, sunglass)
  8. Fetish gear and abounding homoeroticism.

By Christmas (which will surely be canceled), everyone will be dressed in this fashion, by necessity. So, this is your opportunity to be ahead of the curve. Be a trendsetter. Show people what is cool *before* it's cool. Also remember that the apocalypse is not actually here yet, (if you're still reading email), so, there's no need to dress according to #8 on my list just yet, let's leave that as a surprise later, as the nuclear winter modifies our hormone levels."

As you can see one needs more than just a carbine for a Post-Apocalypse event. Mere weapons aren't sufficiently awesome. And I don't really know how to do anything half-way, so...

Backup weapons are needed too. The beginnings of the pistol, sawed-off machete-shotgun and the assembling of the carbine:

One also needs a stylish hat:

I spent several hours shopping for the right broom. Color, bristle angle and density, width, and less than $10. Zero regrets.

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